Interview: Kingdom of Fear

By the time we arrived at the small pub on the edge of town, where the beer came warm and Alexander O'Neal peered gleefully down from the toilet wall as I attempted to hide my shame, the men we had travelled to meet with were already lost...

Cactus juice. Alcohol (non-medicinal). Excessive leaves & foliage. Billowing plumes of white powder, like vents of hot steam against a Staten Island skyline at midnight... You could have told these men they were in a Centre Parcs that wasn't full of Hunter wellie wearing snobs and they wouldn't believe otherwise. These men were in the grip of it all...

Bearded: So how did the Kingdom first come about as a collective?

Doctor: Kingdom who? What collective? Are you suggesting that we're some kind of cult leaders embroiled in a twisted bid to overthrow the lizard overlords? Do you think we're some kind of Guerilla militia for the flower-power renaissance? Good GOD man! Heaven's NO!! We're just a couple of average Joe Schmoe’s with a shared interest in vintage automobiles.

Duke: It's true. We met completely by accident. I accidentally walked into an AA meeting thinking I was gonna talk to someone about breakdown cover and car insurance.

Doctor: Yes. It’s very easy to confuse the Automobile Association with Alcoholics Anonymous...

Duke: Turns out the good doctor was in the same situation. But we clashed at first. We definitely came to blows... To be honest I still don’t like him but he's handy to have around.

Doctor: The feelings mutual Bub.

This whole document was laid down in less than two weeks. On a mental level how does that affect a man and his lawyer?

Duke: The same way it would effect any normal human being... in no way at all.

Doctor: My client is clearly in denial... Well, obviously I had to have a restraining order put on my esteemed colleague here... But it was purely for political reasons and concerns of a diplomatic nature. This man is despised in political circles across the spectrum. Even the Green Party hate him!

Did you find the setting and the Las Vegas air helped in letting you create a record of events outside of your normal style?

Duke: The air in Las Vegas smells like pig oil. Those people have defiled nature. I love it.

Doctor: What's not normal about two degenerate gamblers on a debauched road-trip through the desert? That's just an average weekend...

How did you go about deciding which events from the 2 weeks made it to the record?

Duke: Quite easily. We fabricated the entire thing. When you go as hard as we did remembering specifics becomes futile.

Doctor: I don't even remember making a record! We made a record?!? WOW!!!

If you had to market this who would you recommend take the trip?

Doctor: Everyone from your kid brother to your crazy old grandmother! In the immortal words of Frank White "You're welcome! You're aaaaaaaaawwl welcome!!"

Duke: Definitely Felix Baumgartner. I'd say he deserves a good time right now.

Doctor: Really? I'd say he just had the ride of a lifetime already!!

Duke: He did. I’m talking in terms of 'celebration'

Doctor: Hmmmm… Maybe. Felix may have been ready to fall from space but the hellish journey we’ve been on is not everyone’s idea of a knee’s-up…Do all Austrian’s smoke DMT? Is it like National Service?!

From a medicinal perspective do you know of anyone this piece has helped since it's unearthing?

Duke: I don’t know about medicinally but I heard David Bowie got a lot of pussy off the back of a very loose association.

Doctor: I'm a brain surgeon in my spare time. I find it helps me unwind. The drugs just don't cut it anymore... Anyway. No. I don't know anyone it's helped. Apart from Big Davy B... He was swimming in women off the back of that Sir Digby Chicken Caesar joint.

We've heard rumours in the hip-hop community that this project was partly the reason Dr Dre has receded in to making terrible Beats and worse headphones... Can you give any credence to this claim?

Duke: I've never met the man. Where does he practice?

Doctor: Those are libelous claims that we will have no part in. Did somebody tell you that we were selling bootleg Dre headphones on Bethnal Green market? You can't trust a god damned soul in this cruel city... Grasses get cut! With Lawnmowers!

Can we expect to hear more from the KOF's adventures? Have they yet been to where the buffalo roam?

Doctor: We were born and raised where the buffalo roam damn it! There will be many more adventures to come. However, whether or not you get to hear about them is another matter entirely...

Duke: Will Jesus return? Will DC ever do a good Superman movie? Will the world end in December? Would God send you to hell for eating a pork chop? Did president Eisenhower really shoot the breeze with Aliens? These are all questions.

Take a journey with the Kingdom Of Fear over at the YNR Records website here