I Was a Cub Scout – I Want You to Know that There is Always Hope (XL)

Almost instantly dislikeable, batty synthesizers soar into your ear holes with intent to destroy any glimmer of hope you may have left for the music business. I guess it’s that word ‘business’ which explains why so much inoffensive, middle of the road drivel is being released in abundance nowadays. I like my music offensive, or at least thought provoking, and I like it to be created by characters that are brimming with attitude and have lots to say. It seems that labels demand your pendulous ballbags on the chopping block, as well as the acquisition of your signature. ‘You must nip that dazzling personality in the bud as to not offend anybody, please dress the same as your band mates, and for Christ sake do your hair before you leave the house, who knows who you could bump into.’

This album is a typical example of style over substance. These boys know their own sound, and boy do they stick to it - with very little deviation at all. That dodgy synth sound is in pretty much every track, as is that rhythm, and that mundane melody. The lyrics read like sixth form poetry and are often cringe worthy in its laziness. Vocally, singer Todd Marriott has written a hook and he is going to stick with it. His voice has about as much personality as Emu without Rod Hull’s hand up its ass… and the lyrics have that sort of pseudo-depth reserved only for this kind of fluffy synth-pop. Shiny on the outside, a hollow shell of nothingness in the middle.

In the press release accompanying this studio effort, the duo seem extremely defensive about the fact that they are being labeled as just another emo band, what with their lovelorn lyrics and pompous synth noise. Sure, most music is emotional in some way, but most of it isn’t as wet as this collection of tunes. Marti Pellow would be proud.